Everything is so close. Down the road or down the street. And no one makes choices. No one wants changes because change means sadness. And sadness means disappointment. And disappointment means expectations that, weren’t met. People live so that sadness doesn’t touch them, grief doesn’t hit them, and fear doesn’t push them. But instead, the sadness haunts them, the grief worries them, and the fear kills them. No, living isn’t overrated, but the subject is delicate. At this point, everyone stops trying to be someone they can’t be. Stop trying to impress no one that matters. Stop trying to be someone they aren’t. Everyone is different and everyone has expectations that can’t be met. Some of us can’t deal with it. Speaking of the general subject, life is already planned. Someone already knows what happens. There is no changing it. There is no getting rid of the past. The past. Everyone is the same in a way. We all avoid what we are afraid of. Run away from the things that scare us. Think about the past and let it haunt us for a little while. Turn away from the people that love us, and try to love the people that hate us. Never tell the truth to anyone because no one believes you, anyway. Talking doesn’t help, because it leads to shouting. It leads to arguments that should have never been started from someone you wish you had never met, when at the time, you could have swear it was the time of your life. Then, everyone is screaming and all of a sudden the world is passing you by, in a swirling mass of confusion and hate, love and anger. No one can help, because no one understands and the people that do, are too afraid to speak up. Home is not where the heart is, because the heart is distant, and the mind is wandering. The life that was inevitable has begun. Sometimes it’s one call, and sometimes its one word. Sometimes it’s one person who you thought you could trust. And all the time, it doesn’t end well. At this moment, everyone is distant… You’re walking around, lost to the world, staring at the sky, wondering why life is pushing you the wrong way. Wondering what’s wrong, and why trying to fix it is like doing nothing. Shivering from the fear and worry, choking from the breath that may be your last. Remembering how everyone hurt you, and how no one cared. Walking down the stone path of memories, wishing you could stand the hurt thrust upon you from above. No one is shouting anymore. Everyone stares down at the table because no one knows what to say.. The tension is heavy, drowning us. Some of us are swimming, and some of us are trying to. A clear sphere drops with a splish on the table and everyone slowly looks up. And we really are drowning. The skid of the chairs on linoleum, the confusion in your eyes, and the fear in mine. The hurt in hers. head in hands, darkness the only escape. This time, everyone is lost. We remember how everything happened, what used to be that no one would ever try to bring back. Forgetting memories because all they do is make everything worse. Remembering yesterday, because that is the only thing left to hold on to. Quiet glances in the hallways, secrets passed through pupils. Learning from last time, no words are spoken. Because words mean another argument, and another argument won’t do anyone any good today. Splitting ways, torn apart. Ripped pages, broken lives. No more pretending. Lost for words. Too hurt to speak. Wondering what the goal is… How long does it take, for the carousel to stop turning? For the person in the booth to realize that no one wants to be on the ride anymore? She’s holding on, and i’m watching her, scared. The music is still going and no one knows where we stand. I’m jumping, because i can’t take it anymore. The music, and subtle hate, the desperate happiness that doesn’t exist. It’s all too much, and everyone wants it to be over. I’m off, making my way over to the booth. To take control. So it all stops. The music, the turning.. We split paths again, making excuses for nothing. To go nowhere. Cold hands, closed eyes, words unspoken. And now, physical pain. Friends separated for eternity. No turning back. Lost souls floating in a cloudy above. And there she stands, alone, wondering what to do. What will happen when there is no one left. Because that’s how it is now. She knows to not take action. Action does nothing but leave the situation worse. Forgiveness are words that mean nothing to the person who said them or the one listening. And now she’s alone. shouting, cursing, fear, pain. shaking hands, trembling lips. Now. What’s left.. A girl running her life by, spinning into thin air. Materializing into what? What she already was. Something not seen. But instead of seeming nothing, she is nothing.. So what’s changed? You ran back. You ran as fast as you could. You were sprinting. Your life depended on it. While you watched me disappear. And you didn’t catch me. You were too late. No more barriers, no more hate, no more pain. I’ve taken what you never wanted in the beginning: me.